being a zero

*goofing around in a hotel room*

The Little Master is kinda crazy. I say it with love, but that kid is off his rocker half of the time.

He really likes Leapfrog videos and in one of them, the number zero is introduced as being "A big nothing. A big fat zero." TLM heard that and decided that it meant that zero was big, like big and tough. So, now he's not three anymore, he's zero. If you ask him how old he is, he'll say, "I'm just a big nothing. I'm zero." If you ask him how he's doing, he'll say, "I'm zero. Then I'm going to be five." It's just all so confusing and bizarre. He's a nutjob.

Collin is his best little friend at school. A few months ago, Collin broke his leg. It was a bad break, so Collin was housebound for about a month and Buddy really, really missed him. (This was around the time that Jack the Bully joined the class and TLM had to tell him every day, "HEY, DUDE WE DONT HIT HERE!!!!!!" It was a hard time for Buddy.) Collin eventually came back for an hour or so, but was wearing a cast and had to use crutches. The Little Master came home several days during this time and told me, "You can't take crutches away from peoples, Mudder. Peoples will fall if you do that." Great.

Then a few weeks ago, Collin got a boot on his leg and was a bit more mobile. I assumed that this was great news for Buddy and said to him, "Wow, Collin's got a boot now. It's like a fireman boot. That's super cool, right?" He looked at me like I had asked him if Gramma having cancer and wearing a wig was cool, and said, "No, Mudder, it's not cool. It's just different. I want my old Collin back."

Being the Mudder of a zero is so hard. I just can't keep up.